con < versation >

.......... what?

blank.

whaaat?

hmmm... nothing.

say something.

How are you?

ok.

good.

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:
:

< ugly silence, uneasy. eyes wandering as if looking for something.
lights, trees, chairs... people. nothing new. just holders of your glaze. its uncomfortable. escape. run. go back to your cave. are u really needed here? >

:
:

< silly jokes. attempted humour. courtesy prevented it from falling flat. Chortel forced out of pitty, sympathy. Silly etiquette. but then everyone does that. being spontaneous is difficult. may be impossible. stand-ups right before the shows and even practice. you are not one of them. return to the cave. escape. run. feigning being busy. but what's the point? stick there. for some more time. be one with them. mind wanders. work, leisure, surreal - real. imaginery. that can't happen. it can't be true. why do I think like that? dirty mind. ugly mind. did someone not say "a dirty mind is a joy forever"? NO. yuck.

It's not funny anymore. the juice is not there. stop chewing now. or just continue. what the heck. why do i need to decide. just tug along. that's the mantra.

another flash. another scene. Deja-vu ? nah. dream. yes, it was one. just flashed across. had seen that place before. in the dream. when was it. may be a couple of years back. Then why now? brain functions in mysterious ways. Just like that. two wires fused. and an image got transferred. Interesting?

zap back. I'm still here. THEY are still here. smile. look smart. be funny. be sophisticated. chivalorous.

get some food. why? so that all can eat. get what? another decision? ahhh. feeling homesick? why not. good food equals home?

get up and leave. now. have work to do. go. but where? to the same cave? but there is no light there? and bats stink so much; why? its dingy. stay here.

but it is warm in there. safe too. safer than being in the crowd. here you might hurt somebody. you are not suitable for this. leave Now.

haven't been funny for sometime now. whats the talk about. create a joke. point at the weakest. who just smiles. others are dumb. why are they so dumb. am I? no way.

they look bored. jokes won't work now. they got to hunt. waiting for you to leave. thanks courtesy. respectable exit. face saving.
>

bye bye, bye. see ya. bye

< the lonely walk. look at the people. tug along with someone now. creeper. thats the cave. deep dark dungeon. safe in anonymity. relax. talk to that skull. it has all the answers. it is your only friend. cave is where you belong. it stinks. may be you too. but have to be here. till another day. >